5 Tips for Easing Stress

Self Talk & Stress

The way we talk to ourselves can create stress. We resist change and our thoughts compound the trouble. I have thoughts and ideas that came from somewhere, or maybe from nowhere, and they aren’t helpful. Still, I believe them:  I should have a different life  . . . .

I should be settled and comfortable
I should stop working and just relax
I should be smarter, wiser, etc. etc.
I shouldn’t have done this . . . or that

None of those thoughts help. In fact, this kind of self-talk adds to stress and can derail us and slow us down. It can even sabotage our efforts. Changing how we talk to ourselves can help us deal with even tough situations with more ease.

Focus on the good news

Instead of focusing on all the things that are wrong, the difficulties and challenges, it’s better to focus on the good news. The things that are working

The good news for me is that after a long haul of illness and healing, I have come back to life. The disasters of Lyme disease, divorce, and loss, have passed for now. I feel energized and alive, wanting to mentor and support, to help people learn to be more aware and to talk together from the heart, to ease suffering, stress and pain of others while I still can.

When I look around and inside myself, I see many of us and I have ideas that we believe that don’t actually work so well, limiting beliefs and shoulds that drive us. So many of us struggle.

Struggle & stress are everywhere!

When we struggle we get stressed and anxious. And stress is a killer.

We have an image of the good life–job, work, money, play, love, romance–We have an idea about the American Dream that has become a tattered memory.

What is happening is that all of us are more and more stressed. There is stress in older people, in working people and in the workplace, in children. There is so much to worry about these days–the election, the world, our work, relationships, health, the fast pace of life, how complex things are, how the changes in the US are painful and stark. There is what is called toxic stress that affects our health and our ability to learn throughout our lives and limits childhood development.

Since I’m stressed these days,  planning a big move & starting over, I am paying attention to what helps me get through it. Here are 5 ways of working with it. These tips work have been working for me, and I hope they are helpful to you.

5 Tips for Easing Stress

Breathe

Bring your awareness to your breath

Expand the ribs out laterally, bring in more air

Let arrows flow outward through your shoulders, expanding them. Expand the collar bones.

Relax the belly. Soften the belly.

Feel the breath from start to finish. Breathing in, aware of the breath filling the body. Then breathing out, feeling the breath leave the body–in the nostrils, belly or chest, in the whole body.

Notice how the breath changes from breath to breath, from moment to moment.

Bring Awareness & Support to the Body

Notice what is going on in the body, sensations, coolness, warmth, tingling, pain, lightness, denseness, spaciousness. Just noticing, allowing, letting be. Feeling the sensations directly.

Pay attention to how things change, noticing the changing sensations of life moving through the body

Sense and feeling your feet–the soles of the feet touching the ground

Be curious about your sensations–where do you feel tension, anxiousness now? Where is ease, openness?

Walk! It helps you bring health and wellness, and eases stress levels. Walking brings health and wellness to your mind and body.

Eat well. Rest. Reduce your caffeine. Tend to the body’s needs.

Respect your body. Your body carries your whole life, memories and dreams, activities, and relationships. Because we have a body, we are alive.

Like, dislike, or meh?

Notice and name when your experience doesn’t feel good. When I feel tension and anxiety, it is unpleasant, and I don’t like it. Stay with not liking it for a bit. Stay with the unpleasantness without trying to change anything.

Just noticing I like, don’t like, or meh, reduces mental agitation. It cuts through the stories we tell ourselves that generate more fear and anxiousness. Just saying to yourself, This really is unpleasant. This doesn’t feel good, can help you not spiral out with thoughts and fears escalating and expanding, spiraling and intensifying.

Anxious. Fearful.  Wow. Unpleasant. Don’t like it. Unpleasant.

Have a little compassion

When you notice that it is unpleasant, that your experience doesn’t feel good, acknowledge how hard it is, and feel compassion for yourself with what you’re going through. Let your heart acknowledge your struggle, and give yourself some friendliness—even a little bit helps. Let friendliness surround your heart

Perhaps there are others you know who are going through a hard time; think of them and feel empathy for others who are struggling and for yourself.

It’s can be a two-step dance. Step one: feel in your heart empathy for your pain and difficulty. Step two: remember that others are feeling anxiousness and fear—the same feelings that you have. Others feel this anxiousness and stress just as you do.

Be grateful for one thing

Find one thing you are grateful for. It can be as simple as being grateful you are still breathing. While there’s life there’s hope. Feel grateful you are above ground, there is a chance to live.

Perhaps there’s someone you love, someone who is kind to you and who loves you. Remember this person with gratitude and appreciation.

Be grateful for food, for your car, where you live, the trees, the sky, your warm bed, the warm shower on your skin. Find one simple thing to feel grateful for. These eyes that can see. Play a piece of music that you love.

Remember a moment of your own kindness to a person or to an animal. Remember a kind deed you did without thinking of yourself. Appreciate your own kindness.

Be kind to yourself. Then be even kinder. Treat yourself with friendliness. You are worth it. You are precious and special.

Find one thing to be grateful for and stay with the feeling of gratitude in the heart.

May you be free from stress and harm

We can stay with one of these tips for a day or two if we need to. For me they float through, weaving through my mind, helping to keep me steady when I am afraid in this process of living, getting sick, aging and dying. We all are all in this same life process. We share life, sickness, old age (if we’re lucky) and death..

It’s a practice. When I start getting anxious, I feel the breath to start, softening the belly and breathing out laterally to extend the lungs. I stay with the breath a while, relaxing, breathing in, feeling the breath in the body. Then I feel my feet, my legs, my body. Whichever tip is right for the moment, I work with it gently.

We are all in this together, and stress levels have risen everywhere for everyone. When we work on easing our stress, we help others to relax as well.

I wish you well. May you be at ease, free from stress and suffering. May you and all beings be happy and peaceful, safe and free from harm. Feel some peace in the heart. Relax. It’s going to be okay.